Once you’ve had the best…
Last fall I purchased a relatively inexpensive Bed-in-a-Bag set. At that time I had no idea the fabric was made of microfiber. When I received the set, I was blown away by how soft and smooth the material was. It was unlike any other bed sheet (all of my other bed sheets have been cotton blends) I’ve ever slept in before. These sheets made my bed so comfortable to sleep in!

I got so used to the quality of microfiber that when I changed my sheets (to a cotton blend set) I suffered from insomnia for almost a week. I would go to bed really tired but just lay there for hours yawning but not being able to enter dreamland. Initially I thought my insomnia was due to my mind being restless. Coincidentally (ironically?) I happened to be learning about insomnia during that time. I tried several things to fix my sleeping problem before addressing the issue of my “bed” itself. My insomnia started after I changed my sheets.

I immediately changed my sheets back to my microfiber set. I felt the drastic change in quality instantly and drifted off to dreamland almost instantly. My insomnia resolved.

Who knew bed sheets could make such a big difference?

I’ve slept on cotton sheets my whole life and have never had any issues. In fact, before I was exposed to microfiber I used to love my cotton sheets and felt they were soft. After microfiber though, I cannot stand sleeping on my cotton sheets anymore. They feel coarse and lack the softness that I got so used to (and love).

It got me to thinking…

When it comes to quality, we can only “know” what we’ve personally experienced. I think it applies to lots of domains in life. Once we know what the “best” is it’s really hard to go back (especially when we have a choice to not choose the “worse”). We will always remember the “best” and strive to achieve the “best”. It’s hard to settle for anything but.

Leaving the nest
For most people…

When we’re little, we cling to our parents. We think they’re the coolest. We love them. We have to do everything with them. We want to be with them all of the time.

Then… school happens. We make friends. We start to spend less time with our parents. Then… we become teenagers — every parent’s most dreaded years for their children. Suddenly and ridiculously we rebel against our parents. They become embarrassments. We can’t be seen with them. We try to spend the least amount of time as possible with them.

Then… college happens. We move out and start living “independently”. While it’s always nice to come “home” slowly our definition of “home” changes. We distinguish between “our home” and “our parent’s home”.

Eventually we grow to prefer “our home”.

After college…

Everyone wants to live on their own (if they can afford it). They want to have their own place with their own things. They want “privacy”. There comes a point in everyone’s lives when they realize that they can be independent. It’s a healthy and important milestone for us as people.

When we live at “home” in our parent’s house we can never truly be independent. We can’t “grow”. No matter how old you are your parent will always deep down see you as that little child. They’ll always worry. They’ll always “pry” because they’re concerned and they love.

In order to move on with life we have to fly from the “nest” and build our own “nest” — with our own twigs and leaves… from scratch. There’s such a big sense of pride in having your own home. You can keep it however you want. You can fill it with the people you love — your “own” family. It’s the grand circle of life.

(Click on thumbnail to enlarge)

Unless you’re rich, money is something that everyone worries about. From bills to food, everything requires money. Especially in this economic hard time, money is even more precious. Here are my tips on how to deal with money.

1) Keep a budget — Know your money! Even though it’s relatively time consuming seeing how your money is spent is the most important thing you can do. If you don’t know how you’re spending or where all of your money is going, how can you know where you need to cut back? Furthermore, it’s always good to know exactly how much money you have at any given time (this will prevent landing in the negative and getting fees for bouncing a check or over-drawing).

You should make a category for all of your different expenses (i.e. bills, groceries, eating out, presents, transportation, etc.) in addition to a category for your income. After monitoring your spending for a month you can then set a budget for every month for each category. Analyze your expenses and see where you can cut back (a big thing is eating out — very wasteful!). Once you’ve set a budget for yourself make sure you stay within that budget.

Most importantly again, know your money! You must be able to account for every single dollar that goes out and comes in.

For all of the iPhone/iPod Touch users out there — Apple makes it extremely easy for us to manage our money. There are a bunch of budget applications in the App Store. I personally recommend Balance (free!) and Budget (only $0.99!). Both applications are very easy to use and extremely useful.

2) Save, save, save — Living check-by-check is not a way to live. You always want to have money saved away. Never spend more than you make! You should have a Savings Account. Not only will it keep your money safe it will also earn you interest. What’s better than earning money with money? Furthermore it earns just by staying in your account!

I highly recommend opening an ING Direct Orange Savings Account to everyone. They are very trust-worthy and offer very high interest rates (you won’t be able to get much higher than with ING!). Before when the market was good interest rates were as high as almost 4%. Unfortunately due to the poor stock market interest rates have gone down drastically but they are still much higher than what you would get at a normal bank (and interest rates will go back up once the market improves).

Open up an account today and start saving! I guarantee that it will be one of the best decisions you can make. I wish I knew about ING much earlier because I could have earned way more interest (actually I wasn’t earning any interest before because I never had a Savings Account until 2009 [when I opened my ING account] — dumb, right?).

3) Have a job — Money leaves much easier than it comes. Expenses add up really quickly and sooner or later no matter how much you have saved/earned in the past your balance will quickly decline. Without money coming in to cover expenses soon you won’t have much left in the bank.

It’s very difficult for us as students to have a job (who has time when you have to study?). However, it is so important to have some sort of income coming in each month. Furthermore, realistically, it’s impossible to be studying all of the time. Chances are most of us waste time when we say we’re going to be “studying”. Time is money! Instead of letting that time go to waste why not go to work?

Every little bit counts. Don’t ever think that just because you have some money saved up that it’s going to last; unless it’s millions of dollars it won’t.

4) Get a credit card — It’s so important to build good credit. You’ll need it to buy a car and a house. The only way to earn credit is by owning a credit card.

I’m sure everyone has heard horror stories about people going into massive debt because of credit cards.

Credit cards are not evil!

In my personal belief, they are the best things ever. Who uses cash anymore? I personally never carry around more than $20 (and that’s strictly for emergencies). In today’s world, most people use credit cards and most places accept credit cards. It is so convenient not having to worry about change (I personally hate coins) or being short. Furthermore, credit cards are less bulky. Unless I have to then I never pay cash.

The thing that I love most about credit cards is that I don’t need to pay for my purchases until weeks later. If you time it right (look at your credit card’s closing statement date and make a purchase the day after it), you can buy something and not have to pay until 2 months later. How sweet is that? This gives you two whole months before you have to worry about paying for whatever it is that you bought.

The other thing that I love about credit cards is that most of them offer a very cool “rewards” program. You can earn cash back, gift cards, or miles (for flying). Awesome! Also look out for deals where you can pay over a few months without interest (but make sure you pay off the whole balance within those months!).

Credit cards are amazing but if you don’t know how to use them they can kill you.

The #1 mistake that new credit card users make is over-spending. Because they don’t “see” the money they’re spending or think that they have time to pay it off they just swipe and buy without thinking too much. Never buy without thinking! This is why (going back to knowing your money) it is so crucial to always know exactly how much money you have (or will have). If you absolutely cannot afford it, do not buy it! Interest rates will kill you and it is so not worth it. Why pay more than you have to?

Credit cards can be your best friend as long as you know how to use them. Don’t let them use you! Make sure you pay off your complete statement balance by the due date each month. If there ever comes a time when you can’t that means you’ve over-spent and have to step back before you fall deeper into the credit card black-hole.

I look at credit cards as my “virtual cash”; I only spend what I know I can pay off in full when the bill comes.

5) “Needs” versus “wants” — In this world there are many things out there for us to buy. Advertisements always catch our eyes. We always hear people talking about the newest products or pass by something really cool in stores. The problem for us as people is that we easily desire things. We always “want” to buy. While spending surely stimulates the economy and helps us all we won’t be much help to ourselves if our “wants” compel us into debt.

Before you buy anything ask yourself whether or not you really need it. Will you really use it? How many times will you wear it? Will you still like it in a few months?

Never buy impulsively or feel that you “have” to buy; you never have to buy anything!

Remember, always keep the receipt! If you end up deciding that you don’t really need something you can return it. It is 100% okay to return. I used to really be embarrassed about returning things but now I’ve overcome that. The cashiers are not going to look down on you for returning; they don’t care — they’re just doing their jobs.

Have some self-control. Spend only when you can afford the luxury to splurge. If you can’t, restrain and wait until you can. Of course, this isn’t to say you have to be cheap. You should spend; just do it smartly.

Of course, this isn’t easy. I admit that I have done my share of “impulsive” buys (it’s really hard to control your wants sometimes) and bought things that I didn’t need. However, we’re all human so a slip-up here or there is acceptable. The main thing is to not be a shopaholic.

6) Sell what and when you can — I absolutely love eBay, Half.com, and Amazon.com Marketplace. If you don’t have an account with those sites I highly recommend you get one. If you have something that you no longer use or need (and it’s still in good condition), sell it! Instead of letting it sit around taking up unnecessary space in your house why won’t earn a buck or two?

I’ve made a good deal of money selling my old things over the years thanks to eBay, Half, and Amazon. Not only was I able to clear space in my room(s) but I was also able to earn back some of the money I spent when I originally bought the products that I sold. In some cases I made more money than I originally spent.

Whenever I buy a newer product of something I already own I always sell my old item. There’s no reason to have two of the same things. Plus, earning some money for my old item makes my new purchase cheaper. For example, when I bought my iPod Touch I sold my iPod Classic and Palm Pilot (thus in the end I paid less than $100 for it).

It is very easy and safe to sell (just be honest when you sell).

7) Price hunt — I never pay full price for anything (unless it’s something that never goes on sale or I absolutely need it). Even if I had a lot of money I still wouldn’t. I think it’s crazy to pay full price because things cost a lot less than what they retail for (how else do you think companies make profits?). I always shop around when I want to buy something to look for the best deals. I only shop whenever there’s a sale.

Be smart with your money when you shop. There will always be sales. Always look for the best prices! Use coupons and other savings (some store credit cards have special saving events).

The future… green
I wish I had known these tips many years ago. If I had, I would probably be a lot “richer” than I am now. While it’s too late for me to turn back time I can work towards a better economic future. I am just glad I was able to learn them on my own. Hopefully my tips will be helpful and beneficial to you guys. Feel free to share your own “money” stories or tips.

Here’s to a bright, green future of money!

The iPod is iconic. It’s so recognizable. You can easily spot those signature white headphones from Apple in the ears of passersby. Whether it’s a Shuffle, Nano, Classic, or Touch, it seems like “everyone” has one (in fact Apple has sold over 240 million iPod’s worldwide as of today). Nowadays, it’s so much more affordable to own one. Prices are much lower and you can get a lot more bang for your buck. Not only that but the iPod itself has been revolutionized so much since its humble beginning.

When I first heard ‘iPod’
Back in the early 2000’s, mp3 players were just being born and were very expensive. Most people had portable CD players still. What a hassle that was, right? You could only listen to one CD and had to carry around your collection. Then again, there was a reason to buy CD’s back then.

I first heard the word “iPod” from my friends who were discussing one of my classmate’s iPod (he was probably the first in our class to own one). It was a big, black & white device; there were no color graphics. The original iPod was very expensive but apparently held the most music and had a good battery life at that time. I didn’t think much of the iPod and just thought it was a very unusual name. I figured it was another fad and would fade away like the other fads (remember digital pets?).

Why I wanted an iPod
There’s nothing I hate more than long rides. When I started college in 2005 I traveled home on the weekends on the train. It was an hour and a half trip both ways. I tried to study, but it was unproductive because of noise and the bumpy nature of the ride. There was “nothing” for me to do so I was extremely bored on the train rides. It was because of this that I became interested in an iPod. I wanted music to listen to so that I wouldn’t be so “bored” on my trips.

My first iPod: iPod Nano — 1st generation
After entering the work force in summer 2005, I had money to buy things that I wanted without asking anyone. The “traditional” iPod was too much money for me so I opted to buy the “mini” iPod — the Nano in early 2006. It was a 2 GB white iPod that I carried in a clear, plastic case. It was very small and portable and extremely convenient. I loved it. It was everything I imagined the iPod was and more. I loved the functionality and it was just a very amazing device.

Lured by Apple’s latest creations…
Doesn’t it seem like every time you buy something that not long after that what comes out is even better? This was the case with my iPod. Apple kept on releasing new iPod’s in cool colors and more functions (videos, etc.). I resisted the temptations for 2 years before I gave in 2008. In fall 2007 Apple released the iPod Touch (1st generation). It enticed me from the very beginning. The price was through the roof and I eventually dissuaded myself from buying it. I didn’t want another Nano and I wasn’t a fan of the “fat” 3rd generation Nano. In the end I went with the iPod Classic because I wanted space & video.

My second iPod: iPod Classic — 3rd generation
With 80 GB of space, this iPod was huge — literally. After owning a Nano for over 2 years, I was not used to the Classic’s much bigger size and weight. It wasn’t convenient to carry around because it was “bulky”. I missed the Nano’s very light weight and small size. Furthermore, the Classic was noticeably slower. It didn’t respond as readily when I turned the click wheel or pressed the buttons. Aside from the bigger screen and pretty graphics, I much preferred my “outdated” Nano for functionality.

My iPod Classic was with me for a mere couple of months. Why? Apple unveils its next generation of iPod’s in the fall each year. I purchased my Classic in the early summer and because of my numerous “complaints” with it (slow & bulky) I didn’t feel any remorse in replacing it. Furthermore, I must admit that my purchase of the Classic wasn’t done whole-heartedly. I wasn’t extremely excited or happy about buying it.

The 2nd generation iPod Touch had a built-in speaker, was slimmer, faster, held more space, and was cheaper. The 4th generation Nano was also very attractive with its vibrant colors, thankfully-back-to-slim appearance, and even more cool new features. Seeing these two new models of iPod’s, I knew I had to get rid of my Classic and trade it for something even better.

I was debating for a long time between the Touch and Nano. The Touch would cost my wallet a lot and I wasn’t sure if it would be worth it. I would be happy with the Nano (and to be honest I missed the Nano’s portability) but I knew in my heart I desired the Touch because it was so cool. It was an iPod “love triangle” and I had no idea which to pick. It wasn’t until I experienced the Touch for myself in real life did I know exactly which one I wanted. My classmate let me play with her iPod Touch for a mere few minutes. The result? I was in love. I had to have it.

My third & final iPod: iPod Touch — 2nd generation
If you’re going to order an iPod, do your wallet a favor and order from Amazon; not only is it free shipping but there are no taxes and their prices are one of the lowest. Sadly for me, I waited and waited for Amazon to have the new Touch in September 2008 but it kept being delayed. Ultimately I became so desperate for the new Touch (seriously I was addicted and wanted to have it for my own the moment I touched it) that I called around Philadelphia trying to find it. One wonderful day I found it but sadly it was the 16 GB Touch (which was about $100 more than I wanted to spend). In the end I gave in and bought it because I knew I could not stand another day without a Touch to hold. Furthermore, I reasoned that $100 more was reasonable considering I got twice the amount of space. I was so, so, so happy to finally have it.

Yet, I could not really play with it until a month later. Basically it sat in my drawer because I would not touch it without a case and protection. It was too expensive to be damaged and I didn’t have the heart to ruin its perfection. Seriously, how can you not love the Touch? It is so sleek, slim, and beautiful. Apple crafted an amazingly awesome device. Its functionality is flawless and the possibilities with it endless. It’s incredible how much it can do given its small size.

I love the iPod Touch! It is officially the best iPod ever and my most beloved electronic device.

I use it every day for many different things. It acts as my calendar, tells me the weather, allows me to take notes, acts as a flash drive, surf the web when I don’t have a computer (and Wifi is accessible), check e-mail, Tweet, look up directions & places, search for information, and so much more. There are hundreds of thousands of applications in the wonderful App Store that pretty much has everything you can think of.

When I bought the Touch, I didn’t think I would be playing much games on it… but I am. I never had a Gameboy or video games when I was a kid so the Touch is allowing me to fill in the gap of my childhood and getting to play games. It’s so much fun! The games are extensive, very well-designed (gorgeous graphics), and extremely entertaining.

I forgot to mention… it plays my music, videos, and photos, too! It does so in an extremely and attractive vibrant screen.

It’s not all fun and games though; my Touch acts as a PDA too. I can look up drug information, study flashcards, manage my money, and so on. It tells me what I have to do and where I have to be.

The iPod Touch pretty much does everything I can want in an electronic device from play to school to work.

iPhone: my future
I love my iPod Touch, but honestly if I could afford an iPhone I would sell my iPod Touch in a second and get an iPhone. I’m in love with the iPhone (for awhile now) but sadly I cannot have one right now. The Touch is basically an iPhone without the “phone”. I can’t wait to get an iPhone because then I will only need to carry around one electronic device and basically have the world at my fingertips.

Which iPod are you?
The iPod has truly come a long way in this past decade. It can do so much now and it looks better than ever with so many colors and “class” to choose from. I do believe the iPod “saved” Apple and surged its popularity. I’m such a fan of Apple now.

Let’s break down the iPod…

Shuffle — for those who only want portable music

Classic — for those who have a huge library and want to carry around all of your media

Nano — for those who just want a portable media device

Touch — for those who want everything a portable electronic device can offer

I highly recommend the iPod Touch to everyone.

If you have an iPod or have had one, which one? Share your love! Share your stories!

No doubt some people are “born smart”; they study minimally and yet good grades seem to come “easily” for them. Unfortunately not everyone is so blessed to be born “naturally intelligent” and that’s fine — those that aren’t just need to work harder.

I’m not one of those “smart by nature” people.

When I was younger I was “dumb”. My grades were not good. This could be in part because I didn’t have a great grasp of English at that time (I immigrated to the US a month before I turned 5). I didn’t really know what was going on at school. This all changed in third grade. I began getting straight A’s (and this generally continued for much of my education). It was shocking and a great turn of events.

What changed? Did my “smart gene” suddenly become activated?

Nope. It all happened because of two people — my best friend at the time and my dad.

It’s shameful to admit this, but I cheated off my best friend in third grade. He was really smart (and someone I deem “naturally smart”). It was wrong and honestly I don’t recall how much I cheated. I could be exaggerating my cheating or falsely owing my good grades to him; all I know is that my academic excellence started in some part thanks to him. I wanted to be like him. Eventually we became known as the two smartest guys in our grade.

When I received my perfect report card for the first time my dad was so happy and proud that he rewarded me. He promised that each perfect report card would earn me a present (anything I wanted). Driven by my desire to get my dad’s approval and “reward” I worked hard to get A’s all of the time.

I didn’t become “smart”. I just became motivated to work hard and study; thus I earned good grades. I paid attention in class and was serious about my education. If I didn’t put in the effort would I still get those grades? Obviously not. Over time I became a part of the “smart” people group in school. People (teachers, peers, etc.) expected me to do well and I did do well. It was a really good feeling. I wasn’t always at the very top of the class, but comfortably resided in the “above average” area.

As a result of being deemed “smart” for so many years, I grew to believe that I was smart; sometimes I become arrogant and too self-confident thinking that I’m “smart”.

Actually… I’m not really “smart”. If I don’t study I won’t do as well. I forget this fact and it ends up hurting me at times. It leads me to wonder…

How many people in this world are genuinely “naturally smart”? How many people are actually capable of being “smart” but waste their potential by not putting in the effort?

I’ve come up with this conclusion: human beings are termed an “intelligent species” for a reason. It’s because all of our brains are capable of intelligence. Genetics plays a role in predetermining the amount of our intelligence, but ultimately everyone has the power to maximize and potentiate his or her intelligence.

Of course, there are some things that one just will never get no matter what. For me, it’s physics (hate it!). Yes, some people just aren’t very “bright” no matter what.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not “smart” enough. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something because you don’t have the “brains” for it. If you work hard and you believe in yourself, you can. Attitude and your own perception of yourself and your abilities play a big role. It all depends on how much you care, how much you focus, and how much effort and dedication you give.

Don’t believe what you hear
When embarking on something foreign we always try to learn more. We ask people who have experienced what we are going to experience to get a sense of what to expect. People like to know. Not knowing drives us crazy. We have to know. We don’t like the unexpected… so we ask, listen, and believe what others tell us.

“Oh, it’s really bad.”

“Don’t worry about it! It’s easy!”

Hearing the reviews of people who have gone through what we are about to go through either makes us 1) nervous or 2) falsely relieved.

Often times, we end up having a differing view (if not a completely opposite one).

Back in August, I was petrified of my 5th year of pharmacy school. “Everyone is on academic/program probation! Everyone fails! It’s so hard! You never sleep! You study all of the time! You can study all you want but you still end up doing poorly!” Having heard horror stories of this “nightmare year” for over 4 years I trusted people’s words as “truth”. I began my 5th year extremely nervous and was terrified that I would be “killed” by it.

The result?

I’m fine! In fact, I’m more than fine. The semester that just went by was 1000x more intense than anything that I’ve ever experienced in my academic life and I was bombarded with information and stress, but you know what? It wasn’t bad. I am not on academic/program probation (far from it). I have not failed anything. I’m doing relatively “well”. It’s honestly been no different from previous semesters except much, much busier and stressful because everything is crammed in; it’s “hard” because there’s just so much material in too little time. I’m not studying “all of the time”; there’s still time for me to relax (though not much).

People exaggerate. They like to scare others (possibly because they were scared themselves).

The bottom line is this: don’t believe what you hear. Wait until you actually experience whatever it is that you’re about to embark on and formulate your own opinion. Trust me, it works out much better. Form opinions and decisions based on what you think — not what you hear from others.

(I can’t get no) Satisfaction
People always say “appreciate what you have” and greed is discouraged, but really… deep down we always want “more”. Are we truly ever happy with “enough”? Can we really be complacent? If we set a goal and we meet it… does this mean we’re completely satisfied?

When is “enough” truly “enough”… or is nothing ever “enough”?

There are not many people in this world who “settle” for just “enough”. Actually “settling” carries a negative connotation; no one wants to “settle” (because this means we “accepted” because we had to). We always try to pursue things we don’t have so that we can have “more”.

Are people really so insatiable? Is the human heart by nature greedy? Can it not be satisfied until our greedy nature leads to some dire consequence that forces us to realize our wrongs and understand what “enough” means?

I think so.

I met my academic goals this semester but deep down I’m not satisfied. It’s because I’m so close to the “higher grade” (i.e. more than what I have) in many courses. I regret not scoring a little higher to boost me up to that next level. Seeing something that is so close to my reach and not being able to reach it upsets me. If I wasn’t on the borderline I wouldn’t feel this way. This is called a “99+1″ personality.

A “99+1″ personality is someone who has 99% (of whatever) but cannot ever be happy because he or she is missing that 1% to make the total equal 100%. Instead of focusing on the fact that they have “99″ and appreciating it they desperately seek that tiny, miniscule “1″ because of their neurotic quest for “100″.

I should be happy that I’m not struggling like a majority of my peers. Yet…

I’m not happy. I want to be on Dean’s List (my GPA is 0.1 away from making it). So close… yet so far away.

Is it bad to be so non-complacent?

Yes.

I think many people struggle with looking at the “big picture” and valuing what they do have. They focus all of their attention on what they don’t have that they end up never being satisfied and always wanting more (and sometimes “more” just isn’t attainable).

However, we can’t be so complacent that we don’t strive to advance or achieve more because if we do we never reach our full potential and in essence we’re just “settling” (hence that word’s negative connotation).

In terms of satisfaction, I believe that we have to find a healthy balance between wanting “more” and appreciating “enough”.

I don’t feel older. I feel and look the same. Yet… I’m already 22.

I’m in my 5th year of my six-year Doctor of Pharmacy program. This upcoming year is going to be hell for me. I’m going to be crazy busy and stressed. In less than two years I’m not going to be a student anymore.

It’s so scary to think about that.

I feel like I have so much more to learn… so much more to grow. There’s so much I don’t know about my field and even more things about life that I’m ignorant with.

I’m not ready for all of the responsibilities. I’m not ready to make all those important decisions. I’m not ready to be in charge. I’m not ready…

You can never prepare enough and you can never say “No” to changes or whatever life throws at you.

I guess you can never really be “ready”. In life you just have to accept, adjust, and learn.

Don’t ask. Don’t think. Don’t wonder. Don’t worry.

Just live.

Ever since I was little, I’ve had an interest in cooking. I loved helping my mom in the kitchen whenever she allowed me. My first interest in cooking was in baking (because I have a sweet tooth). I remember the first thing I baked was banana nut bread. It was from a recipe printed outside of a flour bag. From what I can recall, it was not too bad and my mom (and her friends) were impressed that I could bake so well being so young (6/7 at the time). Over the years I would sporadically watch cooking shows (I used to love the Food Network!) and further “refine” my “culinary skills”.

In high school, I used to have a “business” of selling home-made caramel popcorn every day during classes. I would package them into a bag and sell them for $1 each. It was quite profitable and people raved about my popcorn. When we had bake sales, I would sometimes make chocolate chip cookies. My cookies were often the first to sell out. I used to have a really good recipe for chocolate chip cookies, but I’ve since lost it. The “secret” to making them really soft is to cook them to a minimum.

It wasn’t until 2006 when my cooking ventured outside of the “baking realm”. Previously I had cooked here and there, but nothing too big or worth boasting. In 2006 though, I had to cook otherwise I’d have nothing to eat. Living on your own is expensive as it is and if you don’t cook for yourself, it’s even more expensive. Furthermore, it’s really not healthy to always be eating out (but that’s another topic). Personally, I hate the frozen dinners and pre-prepared “meals” (i.e. cans, instant noodles) so those were never an “option” for me (on rare occasions I eat them when I’m in a time crunch) even though I know most other college kids depend on them. They taste very “artificial” and most are extremely bland. I like fresh ingredients and taste, so I have to cook in order to eat. Using recipes, my family’s help over the phone, my past experiences, and knowledge I randomly picked up through cooking shows and/or observing people cook, I taught myself how to cook.

Normally I cook every other day. Ideally I cook enough to last at least 3 servings/meals. I like to cook during the evening because I like my food to cool down before I eat (I hate burning my tongue/mouth on hot food!) and there’s usually not enough time during the afternoon. For lunch I like to be able to just heat up my food in the microwave. I don’t cook every day because that’s too much of a hassle and is both not cost or time effective.

Over the past 2 years, I’ve gained a lot more experience and knowledge in cooking.

Actually it turns out that cooking isn’t that difficult.

As long as you have a recipe, control the fire (making sure things aren’t over-cooked or burnt), and season to taste, then the dish should be okay. I usually follow a recipe once and then I modify it and go off of memory. Cooking is kind of like a repetitive process most of the time. It only differs because you have different ingredients, seasonings, and styles of preparation. However, the “core” stays consistent. As long as you master the basics and the “core”, then you’re set to go. In my opinion, experience and practice can make anyone able to cook.

I enjoy cooking because each dish feels like a mini accomplishment to me. Even though my skills aren’t great and my knowledge and experience of dishes/cooking is limited, I still prefer my cooking on a day-to-day basis. Maybe it’s because whatever I make it always up to my taste. In any case, I just love the experience of cooking (even though it’s very time consuming and sometimes messy — cleaning up is annoying!) and then getting to eat whatever it is that I made.

What can I make? Here are some of the dishes I’ve cooked up in the past 2 and 1/2 years…

I’ve cooked other dishes too, but I don’t take pictures of everything that I make. I usually “rotate” what I cook and often only cook a certain dish once a month. I’m a fan of variety just to keep my taste buds happy. As a whole I’m proud of my cooking, but of course, I’m not an expert and don’t dare to call myself a “chef”. It’s not a success every single time I step into the kitchen. I’ve had a few “disasters” where the food was just terrible and I had to throw it all out. Luckily those times are rare.

I’ve stayed pretty “safe” (meaning only cooking what I know I can make) with my cooking for the past 2 years. Usually I just cook shrimp and tofu (love those two ingredients!) and other vegetables. Recently I started cooking with beef (after I learned how to properly cook it so it’s not tough) and it’s pretty good. I’m apprehensive of cooking chicken, so I tend to stay away (the first time I tried I over-cooked it and it was extremely dry), but I do plan on attacking it again and hopefully it won’t be too horrific. I don’t like pork and don’t often eat it (besides when it’s ground for like egg rolls or when it’s grilled), so I’ve never cooked it.

How about you guys? Any cooking stories to share? Any tips? Good recipes to share?

The classic love story… It begins with two people meeting. It continues with them falling in love. It ends with a happily ever after.

My love story… doesn’t quite follow that formula.

We fell in love before we physically met.

The stars paved the way… and so two people, separated by thousands of miles, came into contact. It was all very innocent public exchanges in the comment sections of a particular TVB blog. They were intrigued by the other’s words and their brain stimulated each other. The exchanges became more frequent and personal and often had playful bantering. The public conversations later became private. What was supposed-to-be a one-time e-mail of concern opened up the road for almost-daily multiple e-mails. The two got to know each other even more and the good feelings they had for the other grew stronger. After chatting through written words came conversing through the phone. Who knew that after “knowing” each other for over a year and a half they would still be able to have so much to say? The possibility for conversations seemed endless and any topic could be covered. They could talk with each other totally comfortably hour after hour.

They inevitably fell in love through their interactions in the course of many months and declared themselves in a relationship. Their strong feelings and passion carried them through the first few months. Everything was going great and they were confident the love would carry them to their happily ever after.

Unfortunately their silly thoughts got the best of them and their relationship started to falter. The two became increasingly dissatisfied and unhappy. Even though they still loved, their relationship was struggling. Pain and tears seemed more frequent than happiness. Was it the end? They “broke up”, parting ways…

For almost 4 months they lived through dark times. Their moods were bad and they lost pleasure in life it seemed, always trying to “keep busy” as to avoid thinking and pretending to be “okay”. He avoided her at all costs… too embarrassed and afraid to face the mess. She waited for him to contact her and to face things, but he kept running. He ran and ran… for months and months… until he crashed.

At long last waking, he realized that he could not lose her. It was his happiness. How could he be so stupid to throw away something that was so good? How could he just let it all go? He could have it all with her, but he had been foolish and somehow made a mess of everything. It was his fault for not trying to make things work. Things don’t come naturally without effort. Fate may lead and things may be destined, but ultimately humans must also do their part as well.

He pleaded for another chance and made her two promises to rectify the core problems in their relationship. He did not want their story to end like that.

The two reconnected. Although a few months had passed since they were out of each other’s lives, when they came together again, it was like old times… as if nothing had happened. They were still comfortable, still able to open up. Things began to be rebuilt and patched up. They were finally able to move from the “dark period”. With feelings renewed and a better and stronger understanding of what it meant to be in a relationship, they worked towards another shot — a second chance at a true relationship.

They had fallen in love before they even met. When they met almost three years later in fatefully matching clothes, it was like they had already known each other. Their emotional chemistry and compatibility translated into the physical world. They made many beautiful memories of happiness together in the short time they had. The first volume in their love story became complete. They entered into a relationship again on May 1, 2009.

All relationships have deep roots from love stories, but a relationship is more than a love story. Love is not enough to sustain a relationship. There are many other factors that are needed to bring a relationship to a happily ever after. Nhi & I are not yet at that state, but I have confidence that we will be. Although we continue to be separated by thousands of miles (and probably will be for a few more years) no distance will separate our hearts. This is a love story that will continue for years to come.

There are two types of people in the world when it comes to a living environment — those who like to make a home and stay put and those who like to travel and move around. I am the former. I absolutely hate moving. It’s a nightmare. By nature I just like to settle down and have things flow. I don’t like disruption. Given that you would think that I won’t move around much. However, I’ve moved four times in the past three years.

1st Move: Dorms
For freshman year, it was mandatory that I stay on campus in the dorms. The whole summer before college I was dreading it. I didn’t like the idea of using a public bathroom. I wasn’t looking forward to living with a stranger. The prospect of being away from home for the first time was scary. I didn’t know what to expect. Of course, it was a little liberating thinking about it back then. For the first time I would have complete freedom and be able to do whatever without any rules or regulations (aside from those imposed on students in dorms) or anyone telling me “No”.

Looking back, it wasn’t so bad living in dorms. It was nice to be directly on-campus and it was nice to know that your friends are down the hall or a flight of stairs away. Would I do it again? No! The bathrooms were disgusting and the food wasn’t good (despite so, “Freshman 15″ [for those who don't know what it is, it's a notion that freshmen gain 15 pounds] still happened). It was sometimes loud and crazy and there wasn’t any privacy or place to really go.

2nd Move: Living Alone & Loving Everything But the Price
Sophomore year, I was ecstatic to move off-campus and get my own place. No more dorms! No more nasty bathrooms! Privacy and peace awaited me. I moved into a one-bedroom apartment which was a little big for me because I had no furniture. My whole living room area was vacant and so there would be an echo any time I was talking in the living room. Plus thinking back, it was way overpriced at $600/month (even though it included Internet and all utilities besides electricity).

It was definitely a new experience living on my own. At first it was rather lonely and sad, but once school started and I had friends over, it was great. I loved my place! It was so nice to come home, cook for myself, pay bills, and so on. I had complete freedom. It was all great… until winter came.

The heating at that place used electricity and was extremely ineffective. I actually ended up bringing in a space heater because I was just so cold. Still, no matter how high I turned every heater I had on, I was freezing. The electricity bill? Outrageous! I was paying nearly $200 a month during the winter because of the heat.

And so, while I loved the place (it was truly nice-looking for the most part and had been newly renovated) and loved living there, I knew I couldn’t stay another year. I just couldn’t afford to.

3rd Move: Hell — How Did I Survive?
The whole money issue led me to make a decision I would regret. I couldn’t afford living alone so the only solution was to get a cheap place and a roommate. The apartment building I found was notoriously old and disgusting (it’s infested with roaches and rodents). Why would I want to live in this place? Well, it’s close to the school, has amazing heating, and was relatively inexpensive. I got a studio apartment there, which is basically one big room with a kitchen, bathroom, and a walk-in closet (in addition to two more closets). Studios were designed for one person.

However, for the sake of saving money, I got a roommate to share this small studio with me. From paying $600/month, I was now only paying $250/month. It was such a great relief to be paying such a little amount. The perks of living in that place, sadly, end there.

For those who are long-time followers of my blog, you will know that I’ve had roommate issues for awhile. I don’t want to go into too many details, but basically I was miserable living there for over 1.5 years. I had absolutely no privacy. I was often annoyed and irritated. My mood was just bad and I wasn’t happy living there with him. Imagine being imprisoned in a 100-degree room (the heat was great all right… so amazing that I was sweating buckets day & night… it was unbearable) with someone you don’t like and you’ll know how I felt.

While the bad outweighed the good, I grew to like living there (despite the place being disgusting, old, stinky, and so on) because I had developed a bond with my classmates/fellow apartment mates. It felt like a “community” and I felt like I belonged there. It was like living in the dorms, but a lot better because we all had our own place. It was really nice to hang out in each other’s rooms, chat, and play games. I won’t have these crazy late nights of laughter and “studying” anymore, but it was nice while it lasted.

Why didn’t I move after the first year of living with him and being so miserable? Well, first, I didn’t want to trouble my family to help me move another year in a row. I had actually said it would be my “final” move when I moved into this place. Second, it was just too cheap to let go. There was no other place I could move to and only pay $255 (the rent went up the second year) for rent and under $20 for electricity & Internet. I was saving so much money and thus, I decided to just “deal”. I rationed that I was a college student and so I couldn’t afford to live comfortably. I just had to get through. I could do it, right? For money, I persisted.

After the summer, I decided to give him another shot. It just wasn’t a good feeling being so negative towards someone you’re living with. Well, things started out “okay”. However, they once again quickly progressed from bad… to worse. By the end of the fall semester (December 2008), things escalated to the point of no return. Every piece of drama and tension intensified. To make a long story short, friendships (let’s just say I pretty much stopped being friends with him many months before that, but I pretended to still be friends) were lost, lines were marked, and ties were cut.

I could no longer endure living there. I knew I just had to leave.

The prospect of leaving “hell” (seriously, the intense heat and psychological torture of living there warrants this nickname) had been raised several times. Each and every time I turned it down because of money. I would insist that I could endure, that it wasn’t “so” bad, and so on. I didn’t see any way out. I didn’t know who else to live with.

In November (when the drama was heating up), a friend casually brought up the topic that he had wanted to move off-campus but couldn’t find a roommate. It had never crossed my mind to live with him mostly because I didn’t get to know him on a closer level until last semester. From this random topic, the idea that we might move in together was born. Perhaps it was because I finally saw a way out, but after the idea was planted into my head, I just couldn’t turn back anymore.

I couldn’t put up with him anymore and began to look for a place to move.

4th & Final Move: Heaven — Freedom
Moving is a pain. All of the packing, the unpacking, and transporting wears me out. If I was to move again, I told myself, then the move has to be worth it. I wasn’t going to “settle” for crap. I was sick and tired of living in crap. I wanted something great — something worth my money, time, and energy. It just wouldn’t be worth-while any other way.

It took me awhile to find a place (being in the middle of the year and all), but I knew the place I found was “it” when I saw it.

The 3-bedroom house which I found was newly renovated with central air/heat and a washer/dryer. It looked amazing. It was cozy and just the right size for two people. The price was also good at $400/month (plus utilities) per person. I just had to have this place after I saw it.

Four weeks ago, I moved into this house.

At long last, I am free. No more stress. No more drama. No more tension. Complete comfort. Total freedom. Total bliss. I truly love it here. It’s my “home” for now until the end of my education (which is scary to think is only 2 years left!).

Moving… on
I don’t like to move, but sometimes we have to move, both in a physical and a psychological sense. Settling down is one thing, but standing still is another. Life is a constant flow and if we just stand, defying the movement, we end up getting flooded. In life we have to always move forward and not only keep up with the flow, but to set the pace.

I realize now that I’m to blame for my miserable living conditions for the past year and a half. I knew for a long time it wasn’t working out and that I wasn’t happy, but I persisted because of money and laziness. I didn’t want to go through the trouble of moving again. I didn’t want to deal with the hassle of settling down again. Plus, I knew that if I moved, my life wouldn’t be the same as before. I didn’t want things to change.

I now know that money is never a good reason to do anything. The thousands of dollars that I saved living in misery were not worth it. Sure, in an economic sense it was “worth” it, but in the long-run, the damage that it had on my psychological mood out-weighed it. I suppressed and denied my happiness, comfort, and freedom. Money well-spent is not money lost. Plus, I can always earn the money back in the future. I wish I realized this much earlier.

If I had moved out last year, I don’t think things would have gotten to such a “bad” state. Perhaps all of the intense drama and tension I had to live through in my last few months in “hell” could have been avoided. Perhaps ties wouldn’t have to be so cut. Perhaps friendships didn’t need to be lost. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps…

What’s done is done. I won’t wallow and wonder. Even if it was possible, I wouldn’t move back.

I have moved… both physically and emotionally for the better.

Do you ever find that a day goes by and you feel like you didn’t accomplish everything that you wanted? Perhaps you even wasted a day and furthered your procrastination? I certainly have. There’s a very ugly snowball effect that occurs when you procrastinate. Elusively, everything just piles up and then there’s stress and pressure to complete those tasks.

The solution is simple — a make a “To-Do List” every day.

It really helps to write everything that you have to do out. This allows you to have a visual understanding of how much or how little tasks need to be accomplished before the day is over. Sure, you can have a “mental memory” of what you need to do, but chances are, only the most important things (i.e. those due the next day) will stick out. You end up not utilizing all of the time that you have and cannot complete tasks in advance.

I love writing a list because the feeling that I get when I cross each item off is very fulfilling. I especially love throwing the Post-It (which I write my “‘To-Do List” on) into the trash can when the day’s over and I managed to finish everything. On days in which I can do that, it makes me feel accomplished and that I am “on track”.

On days in which I don’t make a list, I find that I waste them. It’s because without a list I feel like I don’t have small daily goals to reach. I’m going to be honest and say this: remember when I wrote how I was doing not-so-great in school last year? Well, the reason for that was because I stopped doing a “To-Do List”! Thus, I kept pushing things back and not getting all of the studying I needed to do on a daily basis. I was often feeling pressure and stress from having to do things “last minute”.

The moment I started a “To-Do List” again, things became a lot calmer, not as stressful, and my studying was more productive. Naturally, my grades improved as well. A “To-Do List” really helps me to not procrastinate as much and organizes my life. It allows me to get what I need done and also gives me more time to just “relax” and not worry about having to do this-or-that. It is a very empowering feeling knowing that everything is done for the day and that you can just sit back and enjoy yourself.

Tips for making and keeping a “To-Do List”
01) Be realistic — do not write every single thing that you have to do down; just jot down what you think you will definitely finish in that one day and of course what needs to be done before the day’s over.

02) Do not write too many tasks — it’s a horrible feeling having many items remain uncrossed; there are only so many hours in a day so do not compose a list with a million things on it. Of course there will be “light” days and “heavy” days, but always keep your list to a reasonable amount!

03) Use a “reward” system — what I like to do is give myself a little relaxation time to do whatever after I accomplish a certain amount of tasks. This will keep you motivated; after all, who wants to work all of the time, right?

04) Use a “punishment” system — while it’s hard to not give into fun, you really have to be firm with yourself and tell yourself that you cannot do any leisure activities until after all (or most) of the list is done. The quicker you finish the list, the more time you have to have fun.

05) Make a list every single day — this way every day can feel like mini-accomplishments and you will always be on-track. The few minutes you spend composing this list will totally be worth it and rewarding. You will gain back hours compared to the minutes you spent doing it.

06) Use a Post-It — of course any scrap piece of paper will do, but I really like a Post-It because it is just enough space and you can easily discard it once you’re done with it.

07) Do not limit your tasks to academic ones — chances are, you have more to do than just those things relating to school. I like to write everything that I have to do down so that I can be well-rounded and not forget anything.

08) Cross each item off immediately after you finish it — it’s a great feeling to be able to complete a task, so reward yourself by crossing it off! It’s a very relieving feeling. This visualizes to your brain that one more task is done and that one less task needs to be tackled for the day.

09) Break “big” things up into blocks — some things (for example reading a chapter or studying for a test) are just too “big” and time-consuming to be completed in a short amount of time. What I like to do for these “big” items is to make little boxes next to them and complete the task in “parts”. After I finish a part, I put a check mark in the box. Call me neurotic, but I like the feeling of knowing that I did something productive so by checking off a box, it allows me to see that I’m one step closer to crossing off this “big” item.

10) Throw the “To-Do List” away after you’re done — the feeling you get knowing everything on that list is done is amazing! Plus, who wants to see an unsightly list of crossed-off items?

I found great success with a “To-Do List” and highly recommend it.

I may seem like someone who is serious and mature, but actually… I’m the type of person who prefers and likes to joke around and laugh when possible. In the past few weeks, 我笑好多. In Chinese, the word 笑 means both “smile” and “laugh”. However, in the English language there is a clear distinction between these two words — a smile and a laugh.

You can genuinely laugh for many reasons be it a funny joke or a comedic scene on TV.

Unlike laughing, you can only genuinely smile for one reason — because you are happy. Happiness is something that you feel from within. It is a feeling that flows from your heart. You cannot fake true happiness. You cannot hide happiness. Happiness wants to make itself known and it shows… when you smile.

I can translate 我笑好多 as meaning “I laughed plenty”. In truth, I did. I spent as much time as I could with friends. I didn’t want to spend too much time alone. I tried to preoccupy myself so I wouldn’t have to think. I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want to think. I didn’t want to feel. I knew that if I did I would feel empty and unsatisfied.

I definitely cannot translate that phrase as meaning “I smiled a lot”.

I cannot smile genuinely for a long time now.

我好耐笑唔出。。。 其實我很不快樂。

The road of life is long, twisted, and full of hurdles. Traveling alone makes this road even harder to go through. That is why we have companions to do this marathon — this life-long walk — with us. Yet, friends and family can only accompany us for so much of the way. This is why we all search for a “significant other” — a lover and best friend in one — in hopes of having someone to go through the final stretches of our road with us.

Finding such a person is not an easy task. In fact, it is probably one of the hardest. Sadly, a number of people never find such a person. Even then, there are no guarantees that this person will be able to accompany us until that final step. Still, having once had such a person is already enough.

Nhi entered my life unexpectedly. Fate had arranged for our encounter and a relationship blossomed.

On January 1, 2008, we started walking together. As I’ve said many times before, she fills my life with meaning. I made plans and had something to work towards — her and our future. No longer would I question my life’s value and meaning. I had something to fight for, something to look forward to. At long last, I achieved a comforting feeling that I could have a beautiful future ahead for me.

She inspired me to work hard and do my best. Thanks to her help and everlasting encouragement, I was able to pull myself up from my academic slump. For the first time since Fall Semester 2007, I made it back on Dean’s List last semester (Spring 2008). My grades improved a lot. I credit her with this. People say that relationships often time make grades suffer, but for me, the reverse was the case.

I thought we would travel every step together from that fateful day onwards. It turns out… that we won’t. We love each other dearly and passionately. I have and will always love Nhi. However, as we’ve both come to painfully realize, love is not enough to make or sustain a relationship. With this knowledge and our growing maturity and understanding in dealing with love, we both decided that it would be best to let go of a relationship for now. It is the best solution.

The timing is not yet right. As much as we want to travel together, we cannot. The road that we must travel at the present time is one in which we have to travel alone. There is some time before our two roads can intercept and converge into one… only then can we walk on the same path hand-in-hand.

We have to lead a “one person life” again for now. We have our own things to take care of. We cannot prioritize a relationship into our lives as it should be placed at the moment.

I am no longer in a relationship and I have to travel life “alone” once more, but this time I am no longer “lonely”. It is because I carry Nhi in my heart every day. We will always be together in our hearts. This love is very real and deep. It is the kind of love that I was always searching for. Having had this [and still having it] makes me feel fulfilled. This knowledge gives me the strength and encouragement to keep on walking until I reach the part of the road in which my path converges with hers. I will keep on working hard — and I know she will too — until that day. We will both keep on moving forwards so that we can reach this destination. It is a very warm feeling.

Truly, I’m leading a one person life, but with two people in the heart.

Since the days of Eve, the human female has consistently been composed of the “XX” chromosome. However, the modern woman is unlike her ancestors.

The woman of the past was bound by the restrictions of society. “Fate” as she called it often determined her life. When she was little, she depended on her father. When she was older, she depended on her husband. When she was old, she depended on her children. Depending on others is never a good thing. Building your life around another person only sets yourself up for destruction — there are no guarantees and there’s no telling what tomorrow brings. However, the woman of the past had no choice. This was the life that she saw. This was the “fate” that she would have to accept.

The woman of the past did not have much control — if any. She was basically powerless. All she could do was sit at home… waiting on her father, waiting on her husband, waiting on her children… Her only purpose in life was to take care of her family and to have children. She wasn’t allowed to think for or of herself. She was led to believe that the lives of women were so tragic and so doomed.

The woman of the past was taught to feel and act inferior. She was led to believe that men were above her and that she had to listen to everything that they said for she had no authority to object. Only men were allowed to have power. Only men could speak their minds. Only men could have freedom. Only men… Blame the fact that she wasn’t born a boy…

The woman of the past could only meekly dream. Dream, she would… of living a good life… by finding a good husband. She only wanted to minimize her suffering. Her worst fear was being unmarried. She did not dare to dream of happiness. She did not dare to dream for herself. She had no wings to fly…

The woman of the past endured and suffered often more than her share, but she could not complain. She could only accept.

The woman of the past… no longer exists.

The modern woman is the person the woman of the past never imagined she could be.

The modern woman is her own person. No longer is she bound by society. No longer does she have to depend on anyone or listen to anyone’s order. She has her own options. She has her own voice. She has her own opinions. She’s free to think and speak. She is independent and self-sufficient.

The modern woman fights back. She is not afraid of anyone. She won’t silently suffer.

The modern woman lives life. She is no longer held captive at home. She works. She plays. She is educated and informed. She makes her own money. She can pay her own bills. No longer does she have to wait around for someone to support her.

The modern woman is no longer inferior to her father, brother, lover, or any man. She is now their peer. In fact, she can even be their boss. The modern woman can be a doctor, lawyer, pharmacist, CEO, manager… she can occupy any career that she wants. These jobs are no longer exclusively male and out of her reach.

The modern woman doesn’t only dream, she plans and sets goals. She makes them reality.

The modern woman is so different from her mother, her grandmother, and all of the women before her… but there is one thing that she cannot escape — her passion for romance.

The modern woman wants to be loved. She wants to feel beautiful. She wants to be pampered. She wants her man to show her affection, attention, and care. She would like someone to massage her muscles when she’s tired. She would like someone to open the door for her and treat her like a lady. She would like to go on dates. She would like someone to be there for her — a shoulder to lean on, a shirt to cry into, a hand for support… She wants to hear “I love you”. Women of any time period are this deeply romantic.

Unfortunately, the modern woman scares some men away. They fear her because her confidence, strength, independence, and success is a threat to some of them. They feel they cannot be the “man” in the relationship anymore. It is no longer guaranteed that they will make more money or even that they’ll have a higher-ranking job. They can no longer “boss” women around like their fathers, grandfathers, and all of the men before them did. Their superiority and “status” now faces competition. Indeed, some men cannot handle the modern woman. They find her attractive, but because they fear she “surpasses” them, they reject her.

The modern woman doesn’t need to worry though… because the modern man embraces the modern woman. The modern man isn’t threatened by the modern woman being on his “level” or even above him. He embraces her as his peer. He doesn’t need to feel “superior” in order to be sure of his manhood. The modern man isn’t afraid of asking for help. He isn’t afraid to admit his fears, his pain, or even his sorrows. He doesn’t hide his flaws and works to improve himself. The modern man is open, smart, reasonable, and upgrades himself with the current times. He does not live in the past, holding on to false power and ridiculous affirmations of superiority and masculinity as set by society.

The modern woman and the modern man beautifully join to form a modern couple. The modern couple works together. They communicate and respect one another. They challenge one another to be the best they can be. There is no longer a distinct division of “power” or “status”. They both pay the bills. They both work. They both pick up the check. They both take care of the kids. They share responsibilities. They love, help, and support one another. There is a healthy and mutual balance.

As a modern man, I love the modern woman.

Most, if not all, people hate receiving the news from their optometrist that they need glasses. Indeed, the sorrowful news that 20/20 vision has been lost upsets everyone. Gone are the days where one could see clearly and sharply without the aid of anything.

Unlike other people, when I was a kid, I wanted to receive this news. I would be “disappointed” to learn that my vision was still perfectly fine. Glasses stereotypically imply a certain level of intelligence, so I wanted to wear glasses. I wanted to “look” smart. I remember I was “happy” when I was told by the school’s nurse that I should go to the optometrist to have my eyes checked out because I most likely needed glasses. I think I was in 5th or 6th grade when that happened.

Initially, I was very happy because my “wish” came true. I finally needed glasses. It was only then did I know you really should be careful what you wish for.

Who knew they were so troublesome? I hate having something on my face. Although glasses are “light”, I don’t like the feel of it resting on the bridge of my nose. I don’t like pushing my glasses up. I don’t like how things are “blurry” outside of the lens. Furthermore, I didn’t like the way I looked wearing glasses. I looked “smart” all right, but at the stage of middle school going-on high school, this is not something you desire anymore. You want to fit in and be “cool”. Thus, from a love and admiration of glasses, I grew to hate my glasses.

When I first got my glasses, I used to wear them all of the time (except at home because I can see “fine” without them). However, as I grew older, I wore them less and less. When I started high school, I only wore them during classes when I needed to look at the board. I hid them in the case and immediately took them off if I was in the hallway traveling between classes or if I didn’t have to look at the board. Thus, I treated my glasses as a last resort if I really, really had to see something clearly. I could function relatively well without my glasses — and I did, about 70-80% of the time.

I continued this attitude towards my glasses when I started college. Sometimes, I’d be walking through campus and someone would be waving at me and I would have to turn to a friend I was walking with and ask, “Who’s that?” At other times, my friends would get mad at me because I didn’t “see” them as I was approaching them. I then laughed and said, “I really can’t see!”

Indeed, it was troublesome having the world be so “blurry”. I missed the clarity.

When I was asked why I didn’t wear my glasses all of the time, I replied, “I don’t like the way my glasses look.” This answer is an honest one. I really hated the frames I had because they were free. I rationed that if I had frames that I really liked, I would wear them all of the time (or at least much, much more than I did). I really liked Raymond Lam’s glasses from Survivor’s Law and as I began to see this frame gain increasing popularity (seriously, doesn’t everyone have this pair nowadays?), I started to really want one as well. I also really liked Steven Ma and Ron Ng’s frameless Silhouette glasses from The Brink of Law.

Since I started working back in 2005, I finally had money to buy frames that I wanted to buy. In the summer of 2007, that’s what I did. I bought two Tommy Hilfiger frames; one was the black frame (featured above) and the other was a frameless one. I paid around $300 total, but I was totally satisfied with them both. I finally had glasses that I wouldn’t be ashamed to wear. Also, I didn’t want to further ruin my vision, so I knew I had better start wearing glasses on a more constant basis.

I shocked people when I began to wear my glasses. I shocked myself with how committed I was with wearing glasses. Gone were the days where I only wore glasses in the classroom and/or wanted to see something clearly. I now saw the world with clarity once again. Since summer 2007, I was officially a “glasses wearer”. After spending $300 on them, how could I not wear them?

Even though I grew to “accept” my glasses and now wore them regularly, I was not happy with wearing them. There are people who look good in glasses; I am not one of them. My eyes are quite small, so to cover them behind glasses make them even smaller. I look better without glasses.

Originally, I had wanted to get contacts in the summer of 2007. However, I was swayed away from the idea. For starters, I was scared about putting them into my eyes and then taking them out. Secondly, I was told “horror stories” by people who couldn’t get the contacts out. Therefore, at that time, I decided not to go through with it and purchase frames that I “really liked” instead. I knew of contacts many years back but didn’t dare to think about getting them myself simply because I wasn’t fond of the idea about putting them in and taking them out.

Last month, I made the decision to get contacts for cosmetic reasons. I’ve been wearing them for over a month now and they are great. They are not the “horror” that I imagined them to be at all. Initially, I had a lot of trouble and was quite nervous and scared about putting them in and taking them out. Once, it took me ten minutes to take them out one night! After a week or so, I got used to them and now the process is natural and relatively “quick”. Wearing contacts is of course more time-consuming and expensive than wearing a pair of glasses. However, I think they are totally worth it.

Besides making me look better, I just love the comfortableness and “feel” of contacts. Unlike glasses, there isn’t anything weighing down my nose and ears. I just hate the “heaviness” of glasses. Furthermore, the greatest thing of all is that I don’t feel them! They aren’t uncomfortable at all. Sometimes it’s as if I have nothing on. I just love this freedom! Even more, my vision is now not restricted to the lens of my glasses. I can now see clearly 360º — this is something I haven’t had since I lost 20/20 vision.

All in all, I’m 100% satisfied and pleased with my contacts. I actually wish I had gotten them earlier. Although I don’t wear glasses anymore in the daytime, I still wear them sometimes at night after I take out my contacts. I don’t think I can ever completely bid farewell to my glasses.

I’ve “seen” love and relationships all around me since I was little. Like most people, I had crushes and “loved”, but I never had any relationships of my own… until half-a-year ago. Since a long, long time, I always wanted to have a girlfriend. I wanted to be in love. I wanted to have a relationship. I wanted to experience “love”… the thing that everyone talks about.

July 1 marked my six-month anniversary with Nhi.

We went through a lot in these six months, both separately and together. I know that every relationship goes through rough patches, but in my innocent mind, I thought we would never encounter such periods. I had thought that if we did have problems, they wouldn’t be too big and that they’d be resolved quickly because we have a very good understanding of each other. I thought I would never make her cry because of me. I thought I would be a model boyfriend.

It turns out that I was wrong — so, so wrong.

A relationship is what it is… a bind between two people. Every person is unique and obviously this leads to differences. Thus, a relationship can never be “perfect” with only happiness consisting of smiles and laughter. It can never just pass through sunny days forever.

In every relationship, there will be times where there are problems and where everything isn’t so peachy.

Although our interests and “overall” personality may be similar, Nhi and I differ in some of our attitudes and the way we deal with things. While she appreciates good humor and is often a cheerful person, her mind is often serious. On the other hand, I have a laid-back personality and often joke. I’m only serious when I really “have” to be [i.e. the situation calls for it] — I have to be pushed. Some matters are “small” and “insignificant” to me, but those same matters may be very big to her. These differences between us led to the issues that we’ve had in the past two months.

These past two months made me very uneasy. I thought I was going to lose her several times.

The thought of not having her pains me, but what pains me even more is the fact that the way I had treated her did not warrant me having her. I made her cry so many times. I became the kind of boyfriend I never thought I would be. I was inconsiderate and selfish. I was the root of many of our problems.

I cried many times, afraid of losing her and hating myself for treating her the way I had. I was very ashamed and regretful.

She began to doubt how much I loved her. She started to lose faith in us. I made her lose this trust. I took away her sense of security.

When we started on January 1, we both had a lot of faith in our relationship and in each other. Who knew we would face such a day?

Sometimes I would wonder whether or not we would even make it to half-a-year…

As the days went on, the situation just became worse and worse and our relationship progressively declined. I knew that I had to do something otherwise I would lose her for sure. How can I show her how much I love her? Surely, gifts wouldn’t mean a thing. A thousand “I love you’s” means nothing. Nhi is the type of person who can only believe in actions. I had to show her that I really did care and love her a lot.

Initially, for a six-month anniversary present, I had wanted to write a “future” journal entitled The Future Days [未來的日子]. It would be a cute and sweet gift for us to laugh and happily talk about. I wanted her to read an entry a day. From a cute gift, this journal turned into a very important item. It became the gift that shows how much I love her. This journal represents my heart. It outlines the days that we will go through in the years to come. I spent around two weeks working on it. I spilled my heart out. The more I wrote the more excited and involved I got. The final pages of this journal declare how much I love her. I hoped that she would see how much I truly loved her after reading this journal. I wanted her to “see” and “know” it all…

… and “see” she did. She was overwhelmed by how much I loved her.

When she told me that it wasn’t over, I cried. I was so relieved and truly happy. I won’t treat her or “us” the way I had been doing ever again. I truly value her and appreciate what we have [and what we will have].

I learned so much in these months. I was too naive about the way I saw relationships before. Relationships require continuous work and above all, communication. There are bound to be tears along with smiles. There are ups and downs, just like life.

Problems and issues make a relationship “real” because it tests the relationship. A long-lasting and strong relationship overcomes these problems and triumphs whereas weak relationships falter and break apart consequently. Nhi and I have the former.

Here’s to six months and many more to come…

Every day with her beautifies my life with meaning. I love her so much.

Love is not about going on dates. It is not about presents. It is not about phone calls or cards and flowers that declare, “I love you”. It is not about sharing common interests. It is not about having the same tastes. It is not about being able to talk to someone endlessly. It is not just about being there and fulfilling the desires of the other person. It is more than “feelings”. Love is an indescribable driving force and feeling that only two people can understand. Love is one of humankind’s greatest “unknown”… as well as paradoxically being the biggest thing we seek, know, and embrace.

Love is about understanding completely the other person, to the point that some things do not need to be said. However, sometimes things should and must be said. Thoughts and feelings may be understood, but unless the ears perceive, these thoughts and feelings will not be heard.

Love is more than saying, “I love you”.

Love is about actions.

Love is about being yourself, not changing yourself for anyone.

Love is for a lifetime — a life-long, committed relationship of ups and downs between two. It is about facing both storms and sunny days. It is about dealing with whatever life brings together. It is about communication. It is about solving problems and working together. Real love triumphs and overcomes all.

Love is not only made up of pleasant smiles and laughter, but also of precious tears and heartaches.

Love is an intricate and delicate union of happy times and sad times.

Love lingers in the past, holding tenderly to memories built.

Love is vibrant with multiple colors in the present.

Love lives beautifully in the future.

Love grows stronger and deeper with time. I embrace the future — the days that have yet to come.

This is a story about a bad man. This man did not commit a lawful felony, but he committed the biggest crime a man can ever commit. He hears stories about other men hurting the woman in their life, but he never thought he would ever be a “bad man” like others. The biggest blow that a man can receive and the most pain he can feel is to make a woman cry.

This man is a repeated felon. He not only made his woman cry, but more than once at that.

He tells her that he loves her, but he treated her badly. He became too confident and self-assured in his relationship with her. She was always there for him. She waited on him. Her heart was there at all times. He thought he would never lose her. He thought she would always love him and be with him. He thought their future was guaranteed. Like some other bad men, he went down the path of not appreciating and taking “her” for granted. He became selfish and inconsiderate. He didn’t think about how she felt. He neglected her and she instantly picked up on it.

She cried, cried, and cried some more. She rightfully lost faith in them. She rightfully doubted his love for her.

It was only then that he realized how horrible he had been. It was only then that it registered in his head that he was a bad man.

For the first time, he thought he might lose her.

He was wrong… so wrong.

A woman has to be loved and valued. Her worth is priceless and irreplaceable. Nothing else can compare to how deeply and sincerely she cares and loves. She should never be abused or taken for granted because she can and she will find a man who knows her worth. She will not nor should she sit around to endure or take it. A man rightfully loses when he fails to treat her like she should be.

This is a bad man who made his woman cry more than five times. He is to blame for the problems they had. His attitude towards her was absolutely unacceptable. He neglected her. He took her for granted and momentarily forgot her worth. He should not have her. He doesn’t deserve her.

… but felons are humans too. Humans make mistake. People have mishaps in judgment. The most important thing is to acknowledge the crime and admit the truth and make amends. This bad man was able to wake up and realize how bad he was. He cried…. He was deeply regretful of the way he treated her. He promises her a better future. He promises her that he won’t take her for granted again.

He wants to give her a “safe” feeling again. He wants to realize their dreams of a beautiful future. He never wants to lose her.

This is a story of a man who was bad; this is a story… about me.

How many of you dread the first day back to school? Indeed, “first” days suck. You don’t know what to expect, so your stomach is full of butterflies. As people, I think we like the familiar and once we’ve become familiar with something, all of the fears just go away. Until we’ve established a “comfort zone” though, we just have this unpleasant feeling.

“First days” always represent a dark cloud of mystery. We don’t know what to expect. We don’t know how it’s going to be. Even if the environment is familiar, we can still get these feelings. Every time I return to campus for the start of a new semester, I always feel nervous. I don’t know what my classes are like, I don’t know what the teachers are like, I don’t know who my exact classmates are, I don’t know the exact classroom my class is going to be held, I don’t know what my schedule is, and so on. All of these questions and “unknown” factors and “running around” make me uneasy. After the first week though, I fall back into a pattern and everything becomes a habit again.

It’s the same way with work. I start working again on Tuesday and although I’ve been working there for 2 years already, I still feel nervous about going to work again. I just hate “breaking the ice”.

However apprehensive I may be about “first” days, they never turn out as horrible as I nonsensically may fear in the back of my mind. Once I step into the doors, I don’t feel “lost” anymore and things just flow naturally. I guess it’s the sense and state of wondering that really scares people.

All too often we imagine things are much worse than they can ever be. We envision catastrophic situations for ourselves. We fear this and that. The “unknowns” of “first” days just adds to our fear.

I guess I just have to not think about it and as Virtues of Harmony always so famously says, “Take things as they come.”

Time is so intangible. Without clocks, calendars, and the rising and setting of the sun, would we know how much time has passed? Would we care? Sometimes it seems life is run by the clock. We have to meet deadlines. Certain things must be done at certain times.

You often hear people complain that there just isn’t enough time in a day. Sometimes, you feel that a day is over at the blink of an eye. “Losing” time seems to be correlated with modern society. Yet, time is a constant. From the beginning of time until now, there has only been 24 hours in a day. So why is it that modern people feel so pressed for time? We’re so desperate for a little more time each day just so we can take care of what we need to do. Sometimes, we just want some time – even a minute… for ourselves, but this often isn’t possible.

It was only during high school that it hit me how “fast” time moved. Now that I’ve just finished my third year of college, my first professional year of Pharmacy school, this notion rings more true than ever. I’m half-way done my schooling already. It feels like yesterday when I was a freshman stepping on the grounds of campus for the first time. I don’t feel like I’ve just completed Third Year. I don’t feel like I’m 20-going-on-21. It doesn’t feel like 2008. Yet, all of those things are “true” even if I don’t feel that they are.

In 3 more years, I will be done with school. 2011 seems so far away… and yet I know it will be here before I know. It’s scary how fast time flies by.

Despite feeling that “time goes by fast”, ironically, when I was on the train riding home yesterday, I felt that time could not go any slower. Riding the train isn’t foreign to me. Every trip is around an hour and a half. I know that. Usually, I don’t even feel it. I find myself thinking “Oh wow, I’m here already?” sometimes. Yet, I was waiting and waiting for the 1.5 hours trip to be over yesterday.

If nothing changed, then why did my perception of time differ?

It is because for the first time in a long time I was actually physically “perceiving” time by watching the time “change” on my cell phone yesterday.

A minute can feel like an hour and an hour can feel like a minute. It is all about perception. The more you notice something, the more you focus on it. If you don’t notice something, you won’t realize. Time slithers away elusively when we don’t watch it. When we do watch it, time is sneaky and only etches like a snail. It’s almost as if time wants to play us.

The older we grow, the more responsibilities and roles we take on — the more preoccupied we become… and the faster time slips by… until our own time runs out.